Thursday, 3 July 2014

e-sports must protect boys from female tyranny

Remember the day comrades, for this is truly a momentous occasion. One that will ring in the anals of video game history. For the golden souls behind Finland's Assembly Summer gaming tournament took a stand against the feminist onslaught to ruin the pure artistry of playing video games with a bunch of blokes, in a place.

As reported in PC Gamer, someone on Reddit's Hearthstone community posted a link to the page announcing a tournament for the fantasy-based, strategic card game. A qualifier for the IeSF World Championship no less- which had the specific rule that only males could play at the Finnish tournament. As you can see below...

Even with the update that the "gender restriction rule" it still doesn't explain why exactly the game tournaments held at Summer Assembly were split by gender- Dota2, Starcraft2,  Hearthstone and Ultra Street Fighter 4 for the boys. While females could play in a separate Starscraft2 tourny and Tekken Tag Tournament 2. When asked about the gender divide, the head admin of the Hearthstone qualifier said,

 "In accordance with the International e-Sports Federation's (IeSF) tournament regulations, since the main tournament event is open to male players only. This is to avoid possible conflicts (e.g. a female player eliminating a male player during RO8) among other things."

So that's your answer. It's to stop any women from winning and causing a "possible conflict". Which is just as well, because if I've learned  from gaming is some male gamers have a  habit of flying off the fucking handle at the slightest thing that might infringe on their precious video games. Because they're serious stuff man! I've learned it's entirely justified to hurl abuse and threats at anyone who notes that Giant Bomb hires mostly male writers or the dreaded crime of noticing common themes/tropes in games and making a video about them. We can't have those lady folk potentially beating males at video games to boot. Thank shit the IeSF are there to look out for those poor boys.

Unsurprisingly, someone asked the IeSF directly on their facebook page about the rule, and their official reply was;

"The decision to divide male and female competitions was made in accordance with international sports authorities, as part of our effort to promote e-Sports as a legitimate sports."

Which boils down to, "because we say so". So well done IeSF on making pro-gaming (playing digital toys for prizes) as serious as the biggest spectator sports. Because it's a well known fact women have an unfair advantage over men at gaming because their long fingernails mean they can reach the buttons much quicker than the minuscule digits of your average male. All that make up and perfume? Chemical warfare! What if they have their menstruation cycle near the power lines and electrocute everyone in attendance?

"Someone told me vaginas have teeth"


While writing this, the IeSF did an about face/ betrayal of the man-race and has just announced they have reversed the male only rule, so now all genders can play. That wasn't so hard, was it? And while it's a victory for common sense (something not often seen in the world of gaming) it's worrying that a organisation dedicated to supposedly legitimising pro-gaming- IE, making like actual, physical sports- means separating male and female players, and then citing a ludicrous reason that rationale that it's to stop male players from being eliminated, because how it comes across, really is a case of one step forward, two steps back, a stumble forward, then falling back on your arse.Ultimately, the IeSF has only harmed any sense of legitimacy competitive video games may have in the public eye, if it ever had any.

But maybe I'm just one of the "social justice warriors" who has a stupid bias against much superior game players and I'm part of the feminist conspiracy to deny real professional gamers the chance at showing the world how amazing they are? After all, if you're really, really good at something, and dedicate your life to it, then should be making decent money for it?

Or maybe not?

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