Monday, 27 May 2013

Anonymous guest spot: The GMAs are ruined!

What is becoming a bit of a tradition on this pitiful blog -well, something that's been going for more than two weeks- is the only input from people in professional games journalism and the games industry, under the proviso that they write under the protection of anonymity, for fear of losing their job or getting blanked by Sega at the Eurogamer expo. So, the name of the writer and their place of work have been changed, to protect the guilty.

Benny Piecroft has been lead writer for Massive Con Vlogs since 2005, using his time working for game publisher, Finger-Bit, to help turn the ailing fortunes of a gaming site with his concept of advertising disguised as news posts

The Games Media Awards are ruined!

In my line of work, the very last thing in the world you want to do is listen to the whining, fucking plebs. Especially the twats in the comments section. But if you've been browsing multiple gaming sites to steal their traffic, you couldn't help but notice one saying that's been spreading, industry crash.

With a global recession showing no sign of ending, AAA publishers suffering big losses, having to shut down dev-teams while the price of development increases more and more. The unanimously negative response to the Xbox One reveal furthered the talks of a industry crash, not unlike the console crash in the '80s. And from the way things look right now, I'm starting to agree. I've been involved in gaming since the start of the last decade and in all my time have I never seen the games industry in such a worrying state as it is now. Because the very worst thing that could ever happen. The single biggest sign that the games industry is on the verge of a crash, The Games Media Awards have been compromised!

Did you read what this blog posted previously? "The GMAs are saved." I wonder how long it took him to come up with that piece of weak, internet snark. It's really quite shit, isn't it? Thinking one of the worst things to happen to our great industry is fuel for insipid comedy, the cunt!
Ever since the first GMAs were hosted in some ropey strip club, it has been the epitome of excellence in UK games journalism. And because some fat bastard got on his high horse about a perfectly innocent competition where game journalists could win a PS3, causing our glorious industry watchdogs at Intent Media to change the rules to this years GMAs, so the competition to win a PS Vita, by adopting a baby and naming it Vita has been scrapped (so that's me with another mouth to feed) and all our brilliant friends in PR- who always provide such wonderful ad revenue and the occasional line of Bolivian happy dust- are no longer allowed to vote. If that doesn't say the games industry is screwed, I don't know what does.

The GMAs were always the highlight of the year if you were a games journalist. Free drinks, lukewarm beef burgers, karaoke, and a cool goodie bag with loads of cool shit, if you won a award were what awaited you. But now the GMAs have scrapped all of that and only the pissed up karaoke remains, because some fanboys got all pissy about about how we're so dependant on publishers buying ad space and high review scores are essentially for sale. What's wrong with that you pricks?

Why have you forsaken us Intent Media? Did we not appease you with our ritual sacrifice of Lauren Wainwright?  Did we not continue in the clandestine tradition of only ever nominating and voting for our friends in the games press? Did we not shout down that fucking Doritos crowd, with their calls of collusion loud enough? Why have you taken away our chance to win lot expensive prizes and letting the game publishers pimp our principles for the chance to win even more free shit?

The GMAs are our special night and now Intent Media have taken some of the sponsor money, that should be rightfully buying ipods for the winners, and are using it to build a  fucking school! And for what? To pay some new writer for some freelance work? WHAT THE CUNT FOR?!  You're not supposed to pay them, even for a competition. That's what makes the GMAs so special, the celebration of how we're all in the special club and no one else is allowed in. That's how games journalism works. But now, I just don't know any more.

As a child, I used to dream of getting t-shirts and video games for free. And when I became a games journalist, that dream came true. Since 2005, I have not paid for a single video game, hoodie top or whiskey sour. And I'm very proud of that I've been able to do that purely by regurgitating other people's news posts and using Metacritic as proof of whether a game has been a success or not. And the GMA was the one big night of the year where other professional game journalists could get together, trade stories, laugh at the freelancers and amateurs and doing white lines with Mr Foxy's rolled up broadsheet newspaper. It was great, and now it's ruined. The entire collapse of the games industry can't be far behind. So thanks a bunch for that you twats!

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