Friday, 15 March 2013

CVG asks the tough questions



In the previous post, I made a slight jab at whatever wasted ejaculation at Eurogamer didn't press Josef Fares on the "who cares about value for money" remark. That was misplaced -what can I say? Old habits die hard. And of course, I forgot CVG  existed (no, I don't care if you want me to call it C&VG). Much like one would block out a childhood memory of walking in on your bloated slug of a step father giving it to your mum, I had learnt to phase out their PR-led drivel and cosplay wank offs.  Until the other day, when I saw a link to a CVG interview  with Lucy Bradshaw, the general manager at Maxis, who developed the barely working Sim City. The always online DRM of which brought untold misery it's players on account that they couldn't actually play it. So did the associate editor of CVG give Bradshaw a intense grilling over the hot topic of DRM and the slightly eroding relationship between big time publishers and the audience? Na, he just did a glorified Edge-style interview where he regurgitated Bradshaw's PR guff.

The man of dubious editing decisions, Rob Crossley, essentially asked Bradshaw about the Sim City servers conking out on the day of launch and refusing their customers the basic consumer right of a refund (seriously, why is that such a outlandish demand?) and the overall shittyness of DRM but got a scroll of pointless, corporate mewlings that offered no real insight or genuine apology or recognition of how EA fucked up big time. And Crossley thought that was news worthy enough to put up because he had a nice chat with Bradshaw at GDC last year and she's alright, because if she wasn't in charge of all the Sims related titles, then she'd be one of the many being denied the game she paid for or the basic right to a refund, so she's allowed a pass for not properly answering any  question and Crossley not to have pressed her on any matter. Yeah, great stuff Rob. Your headline should of read, "Person doesn't answer anything we asked, but here it is anyway!"

I read it as a kid, I didn't realise it's always been shit

You gotta love how Bradhsaw answered the question about Origin customers being denied refunds, and whether there should be some legal precedent for future, inevitable Origin server fuck ups,

"We have the best fans in the world, some of whom have stuck by us for more than 20 years."
"With reguards to legal precedents, I will leave that to the experts."

Which, for the sake of those not fluent in PR bullshit, means, "We've got loads of fans who have so far bought all our products and put up with any old crap we've pulled. We've got their money now so fuck 'em"
You may notice producers, PR scumbags and the like starting to use the term, "We have the best fans in the world" or words to that effect, being used more and more recently, especially when it concerns a grievance gamers happen to have about a particular game. Right before said game-making type tells said gamers to fuck off in (usually) the most polite, passive aggressive way possible. 
It's like that classic hypocritical prefix people use, when they say, "I ain't racist, but..." and then they say something quite racist. That's what, "We have the best fans" is. It's easy, look...

"We have the best fans, but if they expect a refund for a product they can't even access, they go fuck their dead mothers for it. Because we hold on to revenue like it cures us of the demons that have invaded our very bodys where our souls used to be."

Try it yourself, send it in on a postcard to the usual address. There's no prize or nothing, but I'll enjoy it. And will be certainly a lot more enjoyable than read the sad excuse for games journalism Rob Crossley forces on you. 

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