Friday, 1 February 2013

Anonymous Guest spot: Sony tease Playstation 4

Thanks to the nonexistent reception to our last guest writer post, we're doing it again. Because I've had a shit week -even by social retard standards- so I'm more than happy to allow far more experienced and professional game journalists than I. But, for the sake of not being blacklisted by Activision, they must remain anonymous and thus write under a pseudonym. Which I am happy to oblige in return for industry standard writing. Enjoy...

Sony shows sum wicked Playstation fourage!

By Julie Haddoway

HEY DUDES! It's your favourite fact-popping, party-stepping, dipsomaniac game journalist, Julie Haddowaaaaay back and right in your face yo! #PartyHard4softWRK

BTW have you all seen the new soooony teaser video? Smack your eyeballs on this RAWKING video that might be the start of the big reveal for the Playstation 4. I hope it has a big launch party, so I can get off my face meet all my great game journalist mates and advertise whatever EA games will be on  the AWESOOOOOOOOME PS4. Video below chaps and chappettes #butAlsoBuyBattlefield

RAWRRRR! How coolio was that? Thx to my buddies in the games world and the journalism degree I won in a packet of Shreddies I can reveal that the PS4 will clearly be made of electricity, dubstep and FEB 20 2013, whatever that is. It must be some xtreeeeeem kind of special programming that makes EA games more brain meltingly worth every penny they try to squeeze from you #TheyPayMEinJaeger #CanIhaveAnotherPSfree

URGH! I really shouldn't of mixed 5 Jaeger bombs and that cheap speed I shared with that giant walking toad the boss of Ready Up #YOLO because now I've sobered up, I now realise FEB 20 must mean that on Feburary the 20th of this year, Sony will make a official announcement that may or may not be their console #realGamesJournalism that you'll be able to play all the bestest EA realses in your gamez shack.

ZAZABING-BANG! What kind of games would you want to see on the #IwantAfree PS4? Any of those games from EA or any other publisher that cares to ply me with booze and free hoodie tops? And can any of you lovely, lovely people come up with a subject for my next half-arsed article for the soft core poser rag I write game reviews for? Because I think I need a break from just writing about going to press events as I've recently noticed there's blood my uriiiiiiiiiiiinnnne URGH! Maybe I should stop eating my own hair extentions? #DontPutEEZinURcoffee

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