Thursday, 27 September 2012

Team Ninja know what gamers like. Clue: it's tits

Since Team Ninja lost it's head pervert, Tomonobu Itagaki, it's best known games -Ninja Gaiden and Dead or Alive- have taken some heavy criticism from long time fans. Mainly, in recent times, for trying to appeal more to the casual market. So instead of going on a tirade about how his audience are all entitled bastards for not liking cockney ninjas, Dead or Alive director, Yohei Shimbori has taken stock of all the criticism, and in a interview in Gamasutra is assuring the fans that are worried the next Dead or Alive will be dumbed down to Streetfighter X Tekken levels have nothing to worry about. Because his research shows he knows exactly what you DoA fans want to see more of...BIG WOBBLY TITS!
As Shimbori said himself, concerning player feedback, "We actually got a lot of feedback from people who were playing it, saying, 'We want bigger breasts. Make the characters more like that.' That was kind of surprising."
So essentially, DoA fans complain about poor gameplay and duff presentation and Team Ninja's take is to appease them by increasing the size of the female character's breasts and add more "jiggle-physics" because they're all a bunch of disgusting, hairy-palmed, neck-bearded fucktards that would gladly overlook a poorly made video game if it gives them a chance to masturbate themselves stupid over some titanic boobage, real or otherwise.
"Told you it's part of our culture"

But if you've been aware of DoA series then you'll know this is nothing new. Tecmo (before merging with one trick pony, Koei) identified and simultaneously insulted their core audience with this infamous advert...

So expect  pre-order bonuses of  DoA5 to include extra strong hand lotion, a laminated character poster and the steel book will come in a plain brown envelope, so your friends or relatives don't know  you've bought digital, soft-core porn for cowardly shut-ins. But, to be fair, it's preferable than having people think you're part of the corrupt DoA tournament scene, so don't cry too much as you pay fifty pounds to knock one out to a unrealistically proportioned Japanese schoolgirl/ninja. Because that's what Yohei Shimbori thinks of you.