Wednesday, 25 July 2012

So, how's Project Possum going?



If you recall a short while ago, the media studies douchebags from the former "Inside Xbox" series went down the crowd funding route for their unmade TV pilot: project possum.
Well it seems xbox owners really are as stupid as Microsoft think they all are, as their production company: Explosive Alan productions (I guess "we need more hair product and ecstasy" was already taken) reached their $10,000 target so they get to work on their -no doubt fuck awful- telly pilot so every commissioning editor in the land can all have a great laugh and give them the speech about how gaming doesn't work on TV.

However, to make use of the lovely HD cameras you, the British gamer paid for, they've been making video content for their youtube channel.  Well, I say video content. It's really just Dan Maher and the other Inside Xbox cronies sat in his living room, sipping on a can of wife beater in his fucking socks. All in glorious HD mind. So your money has thus far, gone towards making a half arsed, video podcast called: Homework, in which they rely on the oldest chestnut in the hack games journo forest: user content!

It's great, you ask the audience for suggestions and thoughts on whatever game/genre you mention, they reply and they get a buzz out of their name being mentioned, while you get to pad out your video in between  inane, hipster mewlings of how Big Trouble in Little China and They Live are crap, but Dead Snow is brilliant...Really? Fuck you a thousand times for your short sighted, worthless opinions. What God of culture and taste bestowed you, Dan Maher, the right to ponce money out of naive saps, so you can record you and your journo mates knocking back alcohol (seriously, is that product placement?) while you regale us with such cutting insights as "Oh, look at this film from 1987  looks rather out of time with today's productions doesn't it? LOOK Roddy Piper has a fucking mullet! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA! Even though I look so eighties myself, I'm one pair of balloon pants away from looking like Phil Oakie"

Plus there's a preview of Sleeping Dogs- under the dubiously named playlist: "client work" so they're still keeping their foot in the glorified advert sector. Which is just as well, because by the look of their not very impressive viewing figures (you try and convince a commissioning editor you have a ready made audience with a audience with only 6,000 -dropping down to a little over 2,000 youtube views per video) the donated cash will only buy you so much hair gel. Just stick to what you're good at Dan. Sucking off publishers in the name of entertainment and scoring free booze with the knuckle draggers at OXM.com, at press events

13 comments:

  1. Worst blog I have ever seen. Dan Maher is a god to the gaming world!

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  2. Sounds to me someone is jealous?

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  3. Wow, you're a douche, seriously. Who the fuck are you to comment on others and what they do? Dan is a fantastic representative of the gaming community whereas you're just a nobody who criticises others for your own sick pleasure. You do not and will not ever gain or earn the respect and enjoyment which Dan has no matter what you do.

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  4. You are a poor journalist, your bio says that you are "honest" yet I see a lot of opinionated crap here.
    I have to say, I LOVE the "Fuck you, a thousand times for your short sighted, worthless opinions." line. It applies one thousand fold to you.
    tl;dr
    poor troll, mad that people are more popular than you, vent rage in crap blog, look like assclown.

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  5. Your should take up a new career...Juggle knives maybe?

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  6. Too, many, commas.

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  7. And some times not enough commas!
    Venom seems to stilt grammar.

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  8. OH LOOK, IT'S THE DAN FANBOYS AGAIN TO THE COMMENTS RESCUE

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  9. When, in doubt, throw in a, comma.

    In all seriousness, your writing is painfully executed. It is a chore to read.

    You might have good thoughts in there but I can't tell because reading your work is an actual effort. Your poor grammar means I cannot be sure what you're trying to say when you write.

    This is coming off as harsh, and I admit that it is my intention. Please really think about studying grammar rules so you can write with some authority and people who disagree with you can attack your opinions, rather than your technique or lack of it.

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  10. Sad little virgin

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  11. You fucking nailed it mate !! Well done Mr suicide

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  12. Hi,

    My name's Gareth, I'm one-third of the Explosive Alan team and I've only just had a chance to read your posts directed at us and Dan in particular.

    Obviously when reading damning opinion about something that you work hard on, your first thought is, "Who the hell is this guy to criticise?" But in my experience of video production nobody advances or makes better content by just listening to the people who blow smoke up your arse, so I figure it is the critics that we should pay just as much - if not more - attention to.

    You've raised some valid points, albeit sometimes lacking in constructiveness but nonetheless I'm sure plenty of people would agree with what you are saying.

    Firstly, I can understand your cynicism at crowd-funding projects; if you are in the mindset that everybody in the world is money-grabbing scum then you'll come to the conclusion that people behind Kickstarters are just looking for a handout. However I'd like to assure you and anybody else who is reading that this is not the case for Explosive Alan. We love making video content for our dedicated fanbase and we want to continue doing this, not because we are showered with riches as a result - believe me, that is not the case - but because we love what we do and want to do it for as long as possible.

    The truth is the market for producing content has changed and without the support of the community who want to see the shows that we make (regardless of their number and whether you like them or not - subjectivity and and all that jazz) we probably wouldn't get the funding we need without being bent over a barrel by one of the larger publishers/distributors/broadcasters.

    It's clear that you're not a big fan of our video podcast series Homework, and we would be the first to confess that it isn't supposed to be a polished product that has a strong structure. It's merely a stopgap show that is quick and fun to make while we plan and produce our main show. You seem to understand how the industry works, so you must know that it is important to maintain a level of output in order to keep your audience interested. Homework is supposed to be an easy-to-film, easy-to-edit video presence and not a highbrow show that is going to take up all of our time. If that rustles your jimmies then it's probably worth just switching off and watching something you actually enjoy.

    I figure I've rambled on for too long but, returning to my original point about listening to your critics rather than just defending yourself and carrying on like everything is hunky dory, I hope that you can take the time to mention a few things that you'd actually like to see from a gaming-related video series. I'm not asking you to do our jobs for us, but you clearly have a strong sense of what is good and what is shit about the industry, so I'd be keen to hear about the sort of things that would make you watch our show.

    Best,

    Gareth

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  13. Hi Gareth I think the first thing you need to do is get new presenters, the whole metro destined for Ceebies look is very much old hat now and to be honest this is why Microsoft killed off Inside Xbox as the "pretending to be a bit of a lad" while handing out gags that would make Time Vine feel nauseous has been done to death.

    I think you would gain a lot more credibility if this didn't feel like one big middle finger to my ex employer the whole "look Ive moved on so Neerr" feel to it.

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