Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Activision hates the free press

Activision have been accused of quite a few dick moves as of late. DLC, season passes, the elite debacle and such bullshit. But they've raised the bar in pointless cuntish behaviour, when French journalist: Julien Chieze, who writes for  reported that the French Amazon site had a listing for Call of Duty: Black Ops 2. However, soon after Gameblof ran the story, they were contacted by Activision's France asking them to take the story down from their site. Gameblog's editor: Gregory Szriftgiser told Activision he was not going to pull the story, so Activision told him that anyone from his site was now uninvited to their Fall of Cybertron press event, any advertising of their games would be pulled from the site and they would no longer receive any games, as said in Szriftgiser's interview with kotaku. Activision's only comment on the matter has been a rather unsurprising, souless muttering:
 "Activision doesn't blacklist journalists. We believe this was a misunderstanding and are working towards a resolution"

 So Activision don't blacklist journalist. They just instantly take away any support and/or communication from them if they write anything about them that isn't cut and pasted from a PR release. Because even though the mistake of leaking the title of the next Call of Duty was's fault, Activision decide to kick a legitimate website in the balls for it. it's like beating your wife because your boss treats you like shit at work. 
And don't listen to the coke-addled hacks of "legitimate games media" who may dismiss as some two-bit blog who should of gone along with a reasonable request from a publisher, because Gameblog has been going for years and is run by professionals who have been working in games journalism for over ten years. has done nothing wrong. They observed something related to their field of work and reported about it. That's all, just some plain and simple news reporting. But of course now the story is that Activision are bastards and there's a new Black Ops coming out soon.
One wonders how Activision will top themselves in the abysmal behaviour: all multiplayer modes as day 1 DLC? Weeks between the release dates of different formats? Having to created the centre hole in the game disc yourself? I probably shouldn't be giving them suggestions

Thursday, 9 February 2012

David Jaffe needs a girlfriend

Remember, back in high school, one of your friends would have gotten a look at a naked woman (either by accident or stealing a older relatives porn mag) and suddenly talks like he's seen more lady parts than Russell Brand's dick. But in reality, he would remain a virgin until someone stupid and/or drunk enough came along and ejected them from the V-Club. Well, that's what it's like listening to God of War creator, David Jaffe is like.
You can see this for yourself, in a recent interview with GameTrailers for the new Twisted Metal game, for the PS3. In a typical act of frat boy humour, Jaffe insisted that Twisted Metal would make a great valentines gift for your girlfriend and: "If you let her win Twisted Metal split-screen, she will suck your dick"
Later Jaffe backtracked on twitter about the comment:
 "Uhm, on the whole GT BJ thing, if I may: I like vulgar but the way that was edited came off more vulgar than even I like. There actually was some context to that conversation as I recall but the edit only showed the last part of a bigger discussion. Granted, the overall discussion was still intentionally juvenile and over the top but w/that as context- especially given the entire REST of the GT piece had NO indication the interview was gonna go vulgar, at least I think you'd see more where it was coming from"
So it was really just a little joke that went too far and got taken out of context. This from the man who almost orgasmically talked how the development for God of War almost descended into fist fights and how one of the dev team promoted the game (in a unlockable video in the actual game no less) "you should play God of War because it will get you laid."  Don't believe me? Go straight to 6:30 and see for yourself.

And GameTrailers themselves had said they didn't edit the interview, as you see for yourself, so frankly Jaffe should learn a little basic PR and apologise for being a dick and maybe learn that women aren't just walking sex tubes, put on this Earth to purely satisfy our every whim. Even if the only females you do see are booth babes and cosplayers.  Seriously, what kind of women suck you off for letting them beat you at video games? The only woman I ever let win is my mum. And she has NEVER sucked my cock... despite her protests
Your games are good enough to sell themselves, you shouldn't some pathetic shock tactic to sell them. Your dress sense may be from the 90's David, it doesn't mean your marketing has to be too. Oh, and by the way, buying God of War didn't get me laid, no matter how much I told people I owned a copy, so fuck you for that one too

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Volition games are making friends

Recognise the guy in the picture? No, didn't think so. But you will soon, his name is Jameson Durall and he's q made himself and, by extension, his employer: Volition games (who make the Saints Row series) a bit of a prize dick on account of a blog post  in which he describes the idea of the rumoured next Xbox being able to block pre-owned games being played on it as "a fantastic change for out business"
If you're a PC gamer, then you'll already be used to games coming with activation codes. And you'll also be aware of how on it's arse the PC games market is. That, despite activation codes, publishers slipping spyware into their games and always on DRM, piracy is rife because: 1: it's fucking easy and 2: it's less hassle than buying the proper retail version.
If the next Xbox will block pre-owned games from paying on them, then I personally won't be buying one. And gladly gamers are not being shy about voicing their opposition to such a function (look at the comments on his blog post) and I'm glad. We all dropped the ball with rip off  DLC in the first place (a perfect example being the amount of day 1 DLC) and frankly, publishers and developers need to stop treat their audience like -at best- total morons or -at worst- criminals. We might buy the odd pre-owned game, because we're either broke or don't want to risk full price on a game we've never played. It doesn't make us fucking criminals. No matter how much you wish it was the case. None of the attempts, by publishers to stem piracy or the pre-owned market have worked, in fact they had the opposite effect. And having a console that stops pre-owned discs from being played is gonna push more people to piracy or worse, push them away from the console entirely and that'll be you out of work, Mr Durall. And then maybe you'll realise what it's like being a gamer on a budget. As opposed to what you are now: a out of touch, twat.

Saturday, 4 February 2012

IGN must love Mass Effect 3

If you weren't already aware, IGN and G4 presenter: Jessica Chobot (real name Jessica Lynn Horn) was recently cast in the highly anticipated EA space RPG Mass Effect 3. which resulted in equal amounts of fanboys whipping themselves into a  hand-sex frenzy and cries of derision over and non-actress being blantetly shoved into their beloved space saga. And even though her in-game persona is designed to look like her but looks more like Snooki, from the Jersey Shore, so I honestly didn't give a damn about it. Not until I read a interesting article about it by Dennis C. Scimeca on on The Escapist. Which brings up the question of whether someone who is closely involved with gaming media appearing in a video game creates a conflict of interest. With one of their on screen personalities in ME3, do you think either IGN or G4 would be hesitant to give it a poor review, even if the reviewer thought it was a bad game? Scimeca also brings up the need to distinguish the difference between games journalist and gaming personality/presenter.
Would Chobot give favourable coverage to ME3, just because she's in it? I don't think so. Why? Because she's a presenter. She is told what to say, how to say and what to wear while saying it. You think she spends hours playing games to divulge gaming tips in those IGN "stratigize" videos? Fuck no. Certainly EA think casting a known "gaming correspondent" in a title might attract some more sales, if only to rope in her fanboys who hope to molest her character via Kinect, but it's doubtful EA need to cast reviewers in their games to guarantee good scores. Nor are they worried about any supposed conflict of interest.
You see, Chobot -as a presenter- is IGN/G4's moderately attractive face. She doesn't write the reviews or her dialogue or interview questions. She's the figurehead of their respective shows, or the "talent" as it's know in TV. Think of it like this: The flying lady on the car bonnet has nothing to do with making the car run, but without it, it's not really a proper Rolls Royce.
"Oh, but I stalk follow her on twitter. She plays games all the time."  I'm sure she does, but that doesn't make her qualified to talk about or form a genuine opinion about video games. no more than me knowing how to drive makes me qualified to be a F1 driver. Don't believe me on her lack of credentials? Then you clearly haven't seen her contrived attempt to appear "leet" after accidentally saying "gays" instead of "days"

See, she -like 99% of all presenters/correspondents in games media are nothing more than pretty meat bags, who lucked out on being fancied by the producer. So lay the blame at IGN and/or G4 if you think you're being insulted as a gamer. Because they think you'll follow anything with a XX chromosome and a nice smile if you're male. And if you're female, then either apply to be a presenter or fuck off, because you don't figure into their demographic.